The Sacred Girly

I can always count on Holly to be present for "moral support" whenever I change my bed sheets.  While I still can't help but get annoyed by her method of assistance, this morning I decided to take a deep breath and go with the pouncing, linen-piling flow.

"Hiya, helper kitty."  I flopped myself down beside her.

"Hiya," she responded, rolling on her back in that oh-so-feline way. 

"You're cuuuute."

She suddenly stopped moving and stood up to face me directly.  "So...are...you!"

I flinched a little, as I often do when someone bestows such a repulsive adjective upon me. 

"Yep.  Just as I thought."

"Hey!  What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You have a problem accepting your cuteness." 

"I do not!," I protested.  "I am perfectly in touch with my feminine side."  I began to point out the Victoria's Secret bag on my floor, all the scarves in my accessory drawer, the skirts in my closet.  The longer hair style I'd eased into, allowing my natural waves to take their shape most days.  The cheery colors in my newly painted office...

"Then why do you get all squirmy whenever someone calls you "cute" and why do you hate the color pink so much and why do you get all bent out of shape over someone commenting on your height and why do you think you have to be physically strong to prove yourself..."

"Okay, okay.  That's enough."  Sheesh.  It sounded like she could have rattled off poignant examples all day.  

"Well it's going to keep holding you back until you accept it.  I thought you'd like to know since you're trying so hard to move forward and all."

"Oh?" 

"Yes...oh."

"But I thought I've been getting better about that--about welcoming my goddess energy and letting myself be more free and in tune and trying to love myself just as I am."  

"I'm not talking about the Sacred Feminine.  I'm talking about the Sacred Girly."

"The Sacred...Girly?  I don't think I've heard about that one before." 

"Of course you haven't.  I just made it up." 

"So what's the difference?" 

"Your Feminine is your connection to Mother Earth and Grandmother Moon and Goddess and whatever else you want to call it.  It's about creativity and joy and expression and intuition and sexuality.  Your Girly is what makes you feel special enough to allow your Feminine." 

"Me and every other woman?" 

"Nope...just you and some women.  There are others who can allow their Feminine without needing so much Girly.  But there are also a lot of women get stuck at the Girly and cannot move on to the Feminine, and I'm preeeetty sure that's why you're so afraid of it.  You don't want to get stuck, so you won't go there at all."

"I'm not afraid of that stuff.  I just find it annoying.  And sometimes even degrading." 

"Because you're afraid."

"No, I..." 

"Will you please just trust the cute kitty on this?"

"Fine.  Oh Cute One, I am afflicted with terror of all things pink and ribboned.  Tell me, what must I do to become more allowing of my Sacred Girly?" 

"For starters you can stop talking like that about it."  

I reluctantly withdrew my smirk.  "Alright, seriously.  What am I supposed to do?" 

"You don't do anything.  Just be.  That's all."  She leaped gracefully toward the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...wait a sec.  There must be at least a few more chapters in this epic lesson." 

"Duh.  I just showed you what I meant."

"Huh?" 

"Don't worry.  You'll figure it out." 

She pranced off and I finished making the bed, which was by far the most monumental lining-changing ceremony of my existence.  I'm still scratching my head a bit, but am beginning to suspect that what Holly describes as the "Sacred Girly" is not really about liking pink and being whiny and princessy but instead about refraining from judging, resisting, or pressuring oneself to either meet or avoid anyone's expectations, even one's own.

How did I come to this?  As I struggled to craft a witty and memorable wrap-up to this post, it occurred to me to follow Holly's lead and simply write...

There.  I shared a potentially illuminating story with you all, and now it's up to you to figure out what it means and how (and even IF) it might help you.  The end. :)